No motivational quote is going to get me a BQ. This is not happening. I 100% cannot do this. I’m done. No more. I can’t do this. When did I forget how to run up a hill? When did running become an activity that makes me feel so incapable? Something has to change.
Thoughts during miles 8 – 11 of my recent 16 mile long run, not shared on social media because it’s not shiny and positive. It’s not a good head space to be in during what seems to be every run lately.
A couple thoughts on this:
There actually is very small progress happening, so small it’s hard to see. My current training is easy to compare to my Be Monumental Marathon training because that was the most recent. When I saw progress it was bright and shiny. It was very fast, loud and proud progress.
Nobody will “let” me quit. Even after this recent long run when I declared it “the end” in my mind, I had a couple friends reach out offering encouragement and suggestions. Support always feels good.
This might sound really silly coming from a six time Ironman athlete, but, I need to separate my long ride and long run right now. Currently I’m doing them back to back on Saturday and Sunday, which is what I do every summer for Ironman training. My training focus is on an April marathon, not Ironman. My long run is being done on Sunday after Saturday’s 90-120 minute trainer ride trashed legs. That’s another thing, trainer rides are a lot harder on my legs than an outdoor ride!
Going forward, I plan to cut my Saturday team indoor ride short to one hour, no matter how long the team is going for. I’ll do my long rides midweek when it fits. It’s also been suggested to me to throw in an easy run, and I HEAR you, I do. I know the benefits of an easy run and it works for so many runners. Currently I consider my twice a week swim workouts equivalent to an easy run. Plus I do yoga twice a week! I’m going to stick with that for the time being. My training is all a trial and error experiment. I will try, I will stumble, but I have learned that insanity is looking for results while doing the same thing over and over. I do appreciate the feedback and suggestions in my inbox.
My intentions at the start of operation-wtf-am-i-doing-bq was and still is that I truly don’t think I can do this but it doesn’t hurt to try and get faster in the process.
A few pics or it didn’t happen training photos…
Ran into an ultra runner friend who is also a coach. She has been awesomely supportive, knowing that I train very differently.
Saw this cool catfish art, stopped for a silly photo, and then finished up our long run.