Stuck for a Moment

 This is a two-part blog post. I had drafted something yesterday, and then things/thoughts took a 180 in a matter of 24 hours! That’s how it goes.

Thursday January 4th…

There was this one week in December before the holidays when I felt and thought I looked great since the start of my counting calories on Black Friday. I pranced around the internet, LOOK AT ME! I LOST FIVE POUNDS, I’M SO DETERMINED AND FIERCE.

And then I plateaued. At five pounds. I’m STUCK. Stuck, stuck, stuck, stuckity stuck.

I’m still counting calories, swimming, biking, running, yoga’ing, strength training, drinking water, skipping the margaritas. I’m hungry all the freaking time. I’m tired. I think of my recent blog post What if I quit/kick ass and feel like I’m going to quit. Somebody pass me a cheeseburger.

Obviously, I’m not going to quit. I just needed to exhale all this bullshit weighing me down. It’s mentally exhausting.

I don’t have a solution right now. All I have is this frustration and desire to continue working on me. It’s tough. The social medias are filled with love your body advocates, and I appreciate them and their messages. I agree. Love your body, be strong, you are not defined by the number whether it be on the scale or your pants size. Women’s sizes are really dumb anyway, that’s a whole other rant for another day though.

With all the love-your-body noise out there, one tweet struck a chord with me today by Lauren Fleshman.

I like that.

I still don’t have a solution to how I’m feeling, except for sharing it. I share it because I know I’m not alone. I know friends who have gone through or are going through similar body image feelings. If you’re one of them, I want to hear from you.

Friday January 5th…

Welp, I weighed myself this morning. I’m finally below 1X0, for a total of 7 pounds lost since Black Friday. I know, the number on the scale isn’t proof of success, but it is visible progress for me right now. I feel less quit-y now.

This goes to show you/me that this takes so much dedication and patience. So much. I can see why so many people give up on weight loss goals. It’s so hard.

Since typing the above yesterday I started Googling how to count macros instead of calories. In the small amount of research I’ve done, it seems like it might be a better fit for my triathlete lifestyle. Why macros? This article My Weight Has Nothing to do With How Good a Runner I Am by Allie Kiefer, a professional distance runner and positive body image activist. At first read, I scoffed “No, she’s different. She’s fit and strong. Counting calories is working for me”

Then, when I was frustrated with the calorie counting process I reread the article. First I had to Google “What are macros?”.  In the little bit of reading on macros I’ve done I found that the reason I’ve been so low on energy is I cut carbs too drastically. Duh. I’m sure that simple, basic nutrition for most athletes. Now I know!

One of the articles I read also suggested that when you count macros, the appropriate calorie count falls into place. I like that. This seems reasonable.

Again, if any of you have any experience with this, I want to hear from you. Help a girl out! I’m doing my best to find my best version of a healthy lifestyle without being that girl that talks about nothing but calories. I don’t want to be that girl, nobody wants to listen to that girl. I want to remain the same, fun, adventurous person that you would still go out to lunch with.

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