When I was running on Thursday evening it kind of occurred to me that I’m doing that thing, again. That thing where I shout “This year is going to be different! I’m going to do things differently! I’m going to follow a plan! I’m going to PR here, there and everywhere!”
I’m not confident that I’m doing things differently. I have this great team plan at my fingertips and I find myself picking and choosing what I can fit in my schedule. If I see something like 2900 yards on a Wednesday my immediate reaction is “aint nobody got time for that!” But I do for the most part have good intentions on following this plan, and doing what I believe is right for me. This is the struggle. The plan is for a team, not for me. A coach would be nice. Maybe? Who knows. I’m so fickle.
Anyhow, during that run on Thursday night when I was realizing my potential self sabotage for the season, I decided to run the full six miles that was on the plan, instead of the four that I felt like doing. I tried to make the last two splits 9:15 or less, I only managed it for one. Which brings up another Oh-Shit.
My goal half marathon is coming up in just two weeks. The goal is to break two for the first time in a couple years. I’m close. Some of my recent long runs, and 10Ks on hilly courses give me hope that I have it in me. For my long run on Saturday I did a loop around Lake Monona and pretended there was a 5K at mile six. Mile six was conveniently on a hilly portion of the route, and into the wind. I told myself that this is the kind of uncomfortable hard work that makes other people fast. My average for 14 miles was 9:30, with only one split veering off at 9:50. The rest were all consistent 9:30s, besides the 3 faster ones I did. While I’m actually proud of this long run, that pace isn’t enough to break two hours in the half marathon. Oh shit.
Then on Sunday when John asked me what my training plans were for the day I actually said “Technically there’s a brick workout on my plan, technically I’m not going to do that”. I really said that. After I heard the words and felt my own stubbornness I changed my mind.
I got on the trainer, followed the written trainer workout, and then got my butt outside for a two mile run right after. It hurt. The plan hurts. While it felt rough, I actually felt strong just for doing it. Not only doing it, but for choosing to do it. It was another “I bet this is how strong people get strong” moment for me. Those are neat. I intend to have more get-strong moments with this training plan.